Saturday, June 25, 2005

never give a girl false hopes u assh0le. thats the worst thing u could ever do.
never have i felt so heartbroken so helpless. fir if u wanna play a game of "which-gal-is-betta", u can just fuck off. u knew but u never cared. why do that to me? why did u take that first step? owells. life is unfair. i wish u the best of luck wit that mtf. to u fir...i still do like u. but the feeling had changed. now i know ur true colours u flirT. ill see how long u can last wit that mtf. =) wells. my class is full of craP. the guys are like so unc00l, unhandsome and unfunny. wTf. thank god i have my sweetheart wit me. shes like my best bud in ngee ann. sometimes i wonder what the fuck are these CINONE girls thinkinK. gosh. "MAMAAAA!!" omg. please. not infront of c01. hah~
fuck lar.
why...why...why...

how do i cope...
when ur love is somebody else's...
theres nothing u can do about it...
how do i deal...
when the fact u had a chance but u chose to turn away...
i gotta take it tho its heartbreaking...
its sometink i had to do...

Monday, March 14, 2005



hello u. im sick of everything. macs. kid. sha. the guys. i wanna stop everything. im so sick of keeping everything to myself. if someone is willing to listen to me...imma warn u first. "Be Warned. U Have To Keep Urself Available For At Least 4 Hours" cos theres just sooo much for me to let out. soo oo oo much. i cant believed she actually yelled at me just becos of the mtf trays. and it happened in front of amir. i think she tried to show amir how fierce she is lar. paler butoh lar! siallan. she screamed my name "EMAAAAAAAA" then i went him muker blur ar. then she yelled "NIE TRAY KALO JATOH CAM MANER?" i wanted to answer "MY PROBLEM IXIT???" fuck sia. abeh amir dah "huh? what happened sia?" i just made that stuck up face like i dont care. i dont care if she wanna scold me or what...imma just make that i-dont-give-a-shit face. she dowan to talk with me? hah~ i dont care. im not gonna be the one yg terhegeh2 make an effort to angkat puki dier. biar lar...whatever. WHAT to the EVER. yeah wtf. just too bad shes the leader. a fuckin 'r' karat phat eeewwww leader. namer jer CREW LEADER. padehal macam sial. TAIK LEADER. lagi sedap. haha. okie enough oredi about her. makes me puke. -blakkkkkk- i heart u. forever and ever. miss u always. tho ur not here with me physically...in my heart u are there...sleeping. always.

Saturday, March 12, 2005



omg. guess what? i saw ALIF. yes. ALIF. of all places at NTUC. haha~ omg. hes soooo hott. hot as ever. he was wearing a cap and this army-coloured shirt. love his sense of style. rocks. at first i saw his bro...iskandar..but i was unsure...that guy put on lotsa weight since he got married sia. hah~ but hu cares. o yeap. then kak sarah. she gave birth redi. then HIM. alif. teros i gostan dgn trolley2 skali. haha~ lagi sikit kene kaki budak kecik nie. siallah~ my heart was like beating so fast. kaoz. mama lak taknak tegor kak sarah. haiyoh~ ermmm....lovely day. o yeap startin work at 8pm. siallan. fuck sia. haiyoh~ never mind. goin back at 3am. hopefully. haha~

Thursday, March 10, 2005



Came a time when every star fall brought you to tears again we are the very hurt you sold and what's the worst you take from every heart you breakand like the blade you stain well i've been holding on tonight whats the worst that i can say things are better if i stay so long and goodnight so long not goodnight and if you carry on this way things are better if i stay so long and goodnight...

Monday, March 07, 2005



omg. thats it. im gonna marry a white guy. i saw this fucking cute baby yest. she was soooo cute. big blue eyes macam anak patung. omg. soo adorable. her name is jessica. eeyeer...geram sak tengok. macam nak amek bawak lari sey. her mum was kinda cool lar. let me take her picture. :) coolies. o yeah. i have this friend in atlanta. i think im gonna marry him. o yeah. he went on cam yest. and he showed me his whole house. omg. he has a 10-bedroom house. its damn huge i tell u. his father owns 15 rental houses. -jaws dropped- and he has a car and a fucking POOL!! thats it. he has a game room with ps2 and whats that thing called pin ball thingie. gosh. im sooo gonna marry him. hah~! and hes kinda cute lar. hes gonna come here in june. woohoo~ hmm...coolies. o yeah then last sat...omg again. last sat mcs kan 24 hours. so i started work at 9.30pm till 6.30 am. then at around 6am...this four WHITE-HAWAIIAN-LOOKING-TANNED-MIND-YOU walked in. im like already smiling to myself sia. cam budak giler. they were soooo bladie mtf HOT. siallah. then two of them looked at me sia! yes me. hahahah. im like near pengsan redi. then after they left...i had to clear their trays...i still smell their perfume...or spray or wtv. sooo nice and fresh. morning smell. if only local guys smell like em. goshhh....im goin nuts. -nuts-

Friday, March 04, 2005



o levels. finally OVER. finito. im gonna put it behind me and move on with my life. im gonna enter a new phase of my life. *shudders* ok. mebe im goin nyp or that stupid sp. im gonna take business course. i wanna persue tourism. who knows i get to travel around the world for free. hawhawhaw. right. hospitality. yeap. public relations. :) amor...no es amor. what am i feeling? what am i doin so wrong? is this an illusion that i have in my heart? fish head curry lar. macs is killing me. im freaking working today. and macs is farking 24 hours today. damn. if i do lobby ar....sheesh. ok ok. i need money. im enterin POLY. i need CLOTHES. hur. :/ if only poly has uniform. damn. i love my joshy the steel kiddo. tho hes like 2 years younger than me. but what the heck. im gonna have beautiful children. :P woohoo! okie, thats crap. wtf. arghhhhhhhh.........

Sunday, February 27, 2005



d-day finally came. life ends here for some. life continues for the others. most will cry. out of what is the main question. joy? or mere dissapointment? sheesh. this is me a few hours before the big thing. gd luck to me. damn. :?

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